gayline

So the other night we were eating twice-baked potatoes and Sam had broccoli on the side ("can I have some meat or something please?" he asked politely upon seeing his plate) and I had a raw carrot because broccoli seemed distinctly unappealing at the time; J. has been out of town writing. Sam finished his broccoli with gusto, as usual, then watching me crunch my carrot asked for a "whole big carrot" (as opposed to the usual carrot sticks), so I gave him one. And watched carefully to make sure he was chewing, and asked him to please chew carefully. He remarked on how hard it was to bite through, and said he would have to use his sharpest teeth to do so: "my gay-line teeth" he said. I didn't catch it and had to ask, "which ones?", upon which he clarified "these pointy ones!" Oh right! The gayline teeth.

Also: the kids illustrated and narrated books at preschool during a theme on stories and story-telling. Sam's was entitled "Poopy Everywhere" and though one might at first charitably imagine that he was following up on "Everyone Poops", an occasional favorite read of ours, closer inspection reveals that the style is somewhat-- ok completely-- different. For example, the last page reads: "And then he pooped all over the house, even on the walls and even all over the ceiling!" with an illustration that heavily features brown marker. His teachers told him he had to take it home, because they don't use bathroom language in the classroom (outside of the restroom area)-- but they stressed to me that they told him he did a good job and there was nothing wrong with the book, he just couldn't keep it at school (where all the other kids' books are displayed on a wall). He still seemed proud of it when we first looked at it, with lots of guffawing as we read it together, but after he overheard me telling someone about it, he got embarrassed, and now says he made a "book about a bad thing". Which is a tough one, because while the potty talk can get waaaay too exuberant (and there are seriously turds depicted on every page of the book-- all four of them, if you include the cover), I don't want him to feel bad about what he makes, either.